Our Approach

Our approach is a little different to marriage therapy, couples counselling or other interventions you may have experienced before. Let us explain more about our working approach and what we mean by Couple to Couple Christian Therapeutic Coaching so that you'll know what to expect from us:


1. Couple to Couple


All our coaching and mentoring happens couple to couple so if you come to us for coaching, you’ll be seen by a married couple rather than by an individual. This is because we believe that working together as a couple brings a different type of balance and breadth to the coaching experience. Two sets of eyes allow us to be tuned into both clients at the same time. We can focus on both the speaker and the listener during our conversations and either of us can interject when needed. We often find that a great deal is being communicated by the person saying nothing at all.

As married couples and parents ourselves, we know what it is like to make mistakes, to go through tough times and to experience disconnection. None of us has “the perfect relationship” but we are committed to working through our own issues, as and when they arise. We are happy to share (when applicable) from our own experiences be they good, bad or ugly. And as a couple, we are able to model any interventions (when necessary) bringing a male/female perspective to the process.


2. Christian


As committed Christians, we align our work with biblical principles and underpin it in prayer. We give all our clients the option to incorporate prayer into the sessions but there is no pressure to do this.


3. Therapeutic Coaching


Coaching means that we help you identify your joint goals and encourage you to achieve these goals together. We ask questions to produce insights and enable you to find your own productive solutions.

Therapeutic* means that we also:
  1. Help you increase awareness of how you interact together and understand the joint dynamic you’ve created.
  2. Help you to identify and reduce any patterns of dysfunctional emotional interaction.
  3. Encourage and provide a safe place for the sharing of any previously avoided emotions; especially vulnerable feelings.
  4. Help you to improve your communication patterns and skills.
  5. Celebrate the strengths in your relationship and help you build resilience.
(*adapted from (Benson et al. 2012) outlining five common principles for effective couples therapy - see reference at bottom of page)


4. Our foundations


The foundations of our approach can be summed up as:
  • Evidence based: rooted in research and sound psychological foundations.
  • Practically focused: providing practical methods you can use at home.
  • Spirit led: open to the leading and healing of the Holy Spirit.

5. Our guiding principle


"Choosing connection over protection" is the phrase that sums up our values and approach. If you want to learn more about this, please watch Sarah’s TEDx talk on the topic.


6. Our limitations


It is really important that we all feel comfortable working together. Before coaching starts, we will offer you a complimentary session where we can get to know each other and you can ask questions about us and our approach. In certain situations, couples may need more specialised help than we are able to offer.

For example, if any of the following apply, please visit our further help page for the relevant organisations who would be better suited to help.

7. Supervision and Accountability


We undertake both regular professional and peer supervision as well as being accountable to our Advisory Board.


8. Working from our values


Our values underpin all the work we do and we hope that they are evident whether you are receiving coaching from us, reading our blog or taking an online course. Our three foundational values are:
  • Hope: we believe that no situation is beyond hope or the reach of God’s healing love. There’ll be times when our clients have lost sight of hope and we will often offer to hold the hope for them until they can believe in it again for themselves. We’re not saying that every relationship can or should be saved. There’ll be some situations where it isn’t safe for a couple to stay together either temporarily or permanently. But for many relationships, where abuse isn’t the issue, we believe that situations can be improved and transformed as long as both partners:

    • Recognise there is a problem in their relationship.
    • Are prepared to take responsibility for their contribution to the issue(s).
    • Are committed to making changes to improve the relationship.
    • Have the “energy” to work through these changes.

  • Authenticity: we believe that marriage is a place where both individuals can be seen, heard and known for who they really are. We encourage our clients to embark on brave communication and we endeavour to model that amongst ourselves.

  • Connection: we believe that God created us all for connection with Him and with each other. Sometimes connection doesn’t just happen and we need to be intentional about creating it. We believe that disconnection in marriage often happens when one (or both) people feel that their partner is no longer their secure base. Perhaps they feel that their spouse is not responsive to them, doesn’t respect them, doesn’t care anymore or is not showing them love. When partners don’t feel connected they are less likely to share their deepest fears and feelings and this can lead to even more disconnection and further cycles of misunderstanding and conflict. We believe disconnection can be reversed when couples are able to see and understand what is happening and why. The core of our work is about helping couples find a way to rebuild or strengthen their connection.

9. Our vision


Our vision is to equip Christian couples and leaders in the Church and marketplace to build strong marriages that make a difference. We want to encourage a shift in culture whereby it is normal and desirable for couples to regularly invest in their relationship, rather than wait until a crisis before getting help. We long to see 100,000 Kingdom couples strengthened, trained and equipped to support couples in their churches and wider communities.


10. Finances.


We are trusting God and living by faith as we build this business and ministry but we are also aware that some our our services or resources may be out of reach for some couples. For this reason, we set aside a certain number of bursaries for those on low household incomes. Alternatively, if you are willing to bless other couples, you may consider buying a gift certificate (to help someone you know) or donating to our bursary fund (to help a someone you don't). More information can be found on our bursary page.